


Maybe In Another Life

by brokopenko



Category: Deadpool (Comics), Deadpool - All Media Types, Marvel, Spider-Man (Comicverse), Spider-Man - All Media Types, Spider-Man/Deadpool - Joe Kelly (Comics)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Human, Bisexual Male Character, Dimension Travel, M/M, Pansexual Character, Rated for Deadpool's Language, Slow Burn, Spideypool - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-18
Updated: 2017-03-03
Packaged: 2018-07-15 21:18:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 20,720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7238863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brokopenko/pseuds/brokopenko
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Peter gets thrown into an alternative universe (it's Deadpool's fault) where he's aparently best friends with Wade Wilson and has no superpowers. He begins to realize he doesn't hate it as much as he thought he would. </p><p>Title of the work is from a song Pressure by Until The Ribbon Breaks</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I don't trust you

Peter would use two words to describe his day so far: _Parker luck_ . He was already running late for school, but oh, _no_ , he also had to get attacked by a robot on his way and just when he thought he had killed it, it had to shoot at him one more time for good measure. So now he was bleeding from his leg and running.

"Howdy, Spidey baby," echoed a sing-songy voice from behind him. Peter couldn't help but let out a groan of annoyance. He knew when he'd turn around he'd see Wade Wilson standing there, wearing that smile of his on his face. So, naturally, he turned around with a huff.

"What the fuck do you want Wilson, I'm already late for school. Also, how many times do you need me to remind you not to call me that when we're in civil?" he ranted and kept on walking as fast as his injured leg would allow him. Wade, however, was stubborn and ran up to him, walking by his side.

"Aw, you hurt your leg, Petey?" he cooed, "I mean, I'd carry you all the way to your school, but I think you'd get a restraining order on me if I did that. Also, we wouldn't want our precious hetero Parker reputation going to hell, now, would we? What would Gwen or your precious dudebro readers think?" he finished and dramatically clutched his heart with both hands. As much as Peter would _hate_ him if he did that, it would _really_ help.

"Yeah, whatever Wade. Why are you even here, anyway? Have you been following me again? If yes, why didn't you help me with that robot? I could have been in school right now. Uninjured!" Peter did actually want to know what the hell was Deadpool doing, walking him to school. The mercenary was right that he didn't want his classmates to see him walking to school with Wade. Not because of the gay thing, but he didn't want Harry and Gwen to bombard him with questions about Wade that he didn’t have the answers to. Like, How did you meet? Is that your friend? He's older? Who _is_ he?

To be fair, Peter didn't know the answers to even a half of those questions. Was he Wade's friend? Who was Wade besides being ‘the merc with a mouth’? The latter was connected to his secret identity, which he could tell _Gwen_ about, but not Harry.

"You say that like you're implying I don't care about you. Now _that_ hurts my feelings, Petey-cakes. And as a matter of fact, I was not following you. I was actually on my way to buy milk in the grocery store, because I wanted to make pancakes, but then I saw you limping across the street and said to myself 'Hey man, what is that Spider-child doing over there, better say ‘hi’ to him' so here I am, saying ‘hi’."

"Huh," that was definitely not the answer Peter expected to get. He shrugged and sped up once again. Wade looked down at his Hello Kitty watch and declared, "I don't want to be the messenger of bad news, sweet-cheeks, but I think your first period already begun. So, how about a milkshake and then you can go off and limp ahead to your second period," Wade sounded hopeful.

"Fuck! That's the _second_ time I missed first period this month, I am so screwed," Peter whined. "Classic _Parker luck,_ ” he muttered to himself. “Wait? You’re serious? How do I know that you won't try to poison me?" he turned to Wade, eyeing him. It never crossed his mind to actually hang out with the people he went on missions with, even though he knew their secret identity. That probably had to do with the fact that most of them were more than 15 years older than him or just plain annoying. Like Nova, for example. Or Deadpool. Even though, he had to admit he shared most of Deadpool's sense of humor, so it wasn't all bad. The dude was a mercenary, though.

"Hey, scout's honour. Besides, we never hang out and the S.H.I.E.L.D. therapist says I need 'human contact' that 'doesn't involve killing the person', whatever that means," huffed Wade, making air quotes for emphasis. Peter chuckled at that. 'Whatever, it's just a milkshake, plus I need to sit down and let this leg heal,' he thought to himself.

"Okay then, I guess," Peter agreed.

"Yay!" Wade squealed and started skipping next to him, which looked ridiculous without the costume. It _always_ looked ridiculous, but when he had his Deadpool mask on it was more comical.

And that's how Spider-Man and Deadpool ended up having milkshakes one block away from Peter's school. Wade got a strawberry one, declaring he liked it mainly for its colour and Peter got chocolate. They sipped on the beverages for a minute and then Wade broke the silence by a loud groan.

"Brain freeze! Oh, _man_ , why do I even have the healing factor when I still get brain freezes?" he complained. Peter only rolled his eyes and continued to sip on his milkshake.

“Real talk, Webs,” Wade started, pointing at Peter with his straw, pink liquid dripping off its end, “Why don’t we ever hang out with the people we fight the bad guys with and all that? I mean, one would think that after all the shit you go through with these folks you’d be the bestest of friends, right? No one ever wants to hang out with me, gets lonely after a while. Plus my right hand can only satisfy me to a certain extent,” he finished, waving around with the straw enthusiastically.

“Wow, okay, I did not need to know that last bit,” groaned Peter, “And I don’t know, Wade. I guess it’s that you work with these guys and besides, it depends. I’d consider myself friends with some of them. But maybe it has to do with the fact that you’re a mercenary. Or I don’t know, super unpredictable. I mean, I wouldn’t even be surprised if this was all a trick you’re doing to get me to help you with some dirty work,” he continued, hoping he wouldn’t hurt Wade’s feelings too much.

“Cruel much?” Wade gasped, ”Don’t worry Petey cakes, I’d never trick you. Although I’d like to do some dirty work with you, when you mention it,” he added, winking, which granted him another groan from Peter as a response. “But I get it, you goodie-two-shoes would never want to be seen with an evil guy like old Mr. Pool. Besides, all this might be a bit of a turn off for everyone,” he added, gesturing with the straw at his scarred face underneath his hoodie and ballcap. Peter frowned, mentally shaking his head. For someone as cocky as Deadpool, Wade could get really self-conscious about his damaged looks. He never thought of Wade any less for it, he simply didn’t trust him much, plus he didn’t agree with the whole ‘killing people for money’ deal. He had to admit, though, ever since joining the Avengers, Wade was keeping his mercenary business on the low and focused more on the good-doing. He sighed.

“I have no problem with the way you look, I just don’t trust you a whole lot. Plus you really should control your mouth sometimes,” he said, realising how dirty the second part sounded only after finishing the sentence and immediately cringed on the inside, “Which is rich coming from me, I guess, since I never stop my awkward blabbering either.” Wade laughed, a mixture of bitterness and affection and shook his head.

“Oh, I assure you, my mouth is out of control,” he smirked. To Peter’s confusion, he got up and headed to the toilets. Peter only shrugged. He glanced at the clock and sighed. He’d have to leave in 10 minutes if he wanted to  make it to second period without running. Not that he’d manage to run with his right leg looking basically like Edam cheese. Wade returned just as he was about to take a look at the damage done to his leg properly for the first time. His healing factor should have kicked in by now, but it hurt like a bitch. Wade sat down next to him, instead of returning to his spot on the other side of the booth. He was holding a wet cloth in his hand. Peter raised his eyebrows at him, questioning.

“What... What are you going to do with that?”

“Calm down, sweetums, I just wanted to be nice for once and help you clean your wounds. I know a bad shot when I see one,” Wade said, sounding suspiciously sincere. Peter squinted his eyes at him, scrutinizing him.

“No, thanks. Speeded up healing and all that. Should be all fine and dandy by now,” he replied defensively, crossing his arms.

“Come on, I won’t bite. Don’t make me get down and pull your jeans up. I _will_ use force if necessary.” Peter hesitantly put his leg up on the seat in between them and rolled up his trousers up to his knee, internally wincing at the sight. The robot had shot him with a large bullet that had been altered to stick to his flesh, clenching it with three mechanical limbs. He remembered ripping it out with force after the fight. That had left him with a gaping, bloody wound stretching across a good half of his leg. The flesh visible, with no skin, swelling up at the edges.

“Fine and dandy my ass. I’m pretty sure that will get infected. Spider healing or not,” Wade frowned and started dabbing the cloth on the wound. Peter was about to yell at him and rip the cloth out of his hand, because honestly, he was capable of doing it himself, but he was interrupted by a stinging sensation so bad, he hissed out loud and gripped the table, his knuckles turning white.

“I can do that myself, you know, no need to baby me, Wade. Fuck,” he hissed through his clenched teeth.

“Uh-huh and I am a model citizen,” Wade huffed, face scrunched in concentration as he, surprisingly, gently cleaned Peter’s wound.

“I suggest you keep that uncovered. I don’t think your wound will appreciate those skinny jeans as much as I do,” he said, straightening up.

“Are you crazy? I can’t just waltz into school with this out,” Peter flailed his hands around in disbelief. “Crap! I gotta go, I can’t miss my second period as well.” He hurriedly got up and picked his backpack up from the floor.

“A thank you would be nice, too. It’s cool, Parker, you’re welcome. In the end, I do it because of my heroic heart that is, in fact, the size of a watermelon,” Wade proclaimed, using his ‘Captain America’ voice. Peter rolled his eyes. He seemed to be doing that a lot whenever he was around Wilson. Very unsurprisingly, Wade followed him out and walked to school with him. The whole time, he was telling Peter about his latest mission in very gruesome detail. Peter just went with it, knowing that nothing he’d say would make Wade shut up. So he just kept on walking, hoping he wouldn’t get a headache from listening to Wilson.

Finally, Peter would never say he’d be glad to see his school’s main entrance.

“Nice hanging out with you, Wilson,” he said a with a hint of sarcasm in it, just for good measure. He adjusted his backpack, shuffling on the spot awkwardly and when Wade didn’t immediately respond, he added, “also thanks for the, um, leg and... yeah.”

“I’ll hold you to that when I’ll go patrolling tonight. Remember kid, eat your school, stay in drugs, don’t do vegetables,” Wade laughed.

“Whatever, Wilson. Just... don’t follow me around or what,” Peter sighed as he turned his back to Wade and headed for the door.

“Did I mention those jeans make your butt look _great_ , Parker?” Wade yelled at him from the gate and earned himself the finger from him.

 xxx

 Peter sighed heavily as he flopped down on his bed. Today had been so exhausting, he was seriously considering skipping his Spider-Man duty and just doing his homework and sleeping. He’d feel bad though. Maybe a nap would help, he thought as he set his timer for 30 minutes and rolled onto his side, falling asleep immediately.

He was awakened by a tapping sound. Peter sat up, rubbing his eyes. After glancing at his alarm clock he almost screamed when he saw that he slept for more than three hours. Oh well, he’d have to go out now and then do his homework later. He sure _loved_ being sleep deprived. The tapping noise was there again. Peter looked up and just as he thought this  day was about as as shitty as one could get he was once again proven wrong, because there he was at his windowsill, crouching none other than Deadpool. Peter got up and opened the window, crossing his arms at his chest immediately.

“What the fuck do you want Deadpool?” he asked defensively, still angry and tired.

“Why you gotta be so mean to me Petey? Just thought we could patrol together today, so I won’t get lonely and shoot innocent people?” Wilson asked hopefully. That was not the question Peter was expecting though. He scratched the back of his head, yawning.

“Yeah whatever just wait a bit, I have to get into my suit,” he said resigned, knowing even if he said no, Deadpool would just follow him and annoy him even more on purpose.

“Sweet! You don’t mind me looking right?” Deadpool waggled his eyebrows.

“I do mind!” Peter yelled slamming his curtains down, which resulted in Deadpool letting out hurtful gasp.

xxx

“So what did you have in mind for today?” asked Peter, hands on his hips, his mask in his right fist. They were standing on top of some roof a few blocks away from his house, near to the New York’s centre.

“I don’t know, I was thinking maybe a dinner then a movie but then I thought movie first would be better and some light touching after dinner. I’m a classy guy you know, gotta take you out before I get you to bed,” Deadpool mused and scratched his chin in concentration. Peter almost hit the boiling point, right there.

“I swear to God and his mother, if you don’t stop this shit right now, I will go home and do my algebra homework. Don’t tempt me Wade!” he responded with annoyance threaded through his words.

“Okay, bug boy. No need to be such a prude. Anyways I thought I saw something weird happening in the abandoned lab on east side yesterday night, but I might be wrong. Thought we should check it out? I sure hope there will be something I can blow up. I miss blowing up shit,” Wade sighed.

“Yesterday? And you didn’t tell the Avengers about this because …?” Peter yelled with bewilderment.

“Hey woah, Webs. I’m telling you now am I not? Besides I’m sure it’s nothing serious. Probably just a meth lab. We can deal with that in no time. Hey do you think S.H.I.E.L.D. would notice if I took some samples with me?” Deadpool’s attention span was short as always.

“Oh my God! Can’t you be an adult for like two seconds? I can’t fucking believe you! What if it’s something serious? We should call for backup,” Peter fumed and was about to dial S.H.I.E.L.D. on his watch. Wade jumped up, covering it with his hand.

“Jeez, no need to be so worried. You’re like a ball of anxiety Petey. Besides, why call back up when you have me? I’ve got your back!”

xxx

Peter honestly had no idea how or why he agreed to this insanity but here he was sneaking into an abandoned building with Deadpool. He was hanging next to the windows where the light was coming from, Deadpool standing on the windowsill, trying to open it without noise. He managed to make a gap few inches wide after a whole lot of cursing and shuffling. Spider-Man was moving his head so he’d be able to hear as much as his enhanced hearing allowed him to. They were able to see many lit up computer screens on one side of the room and a large metal circle on the other. Cables and wires were curling all over the floor and the inside of the circle flickered with a purple energy from time to time. A few silhouettes were moving around the lab, talking agitatedly.

“We should call him. Right now,” urged one of them.

“This is just a demo run. We can’t be sure. It’s not stable yet,” a higher voice argued.

Spider-Man glanced at Deadpool in silent question. The taller man shrugged, arms raised.

“He will want to try it and you know it and if Dr. Doom ends in a whole new dimension because of us we’re well.. Doomed.”

“Fuck you and your dumb jokes Carl. Just call him,” ordered a deeper, third voice.  

Panic raised in Peter’s chest.

“Dr. Doom? As in the most wanted S.H.I.E.L.D. supervillain? What the fuck Wade? Call the Avengers for immediate emergency,” he angrily whispered to Deadpool and was about to do it himself if Deadpool wouldn’t. He was interrupted by another sentence coming from the inside of the building.

“The levels aren’t stable. Right now anyone who goes through the teleport in any other emotional state than a complete calmness will end who knows where and we all know he’s far from calm,” insisted the voice which Peter detected as female.

“Then fix the emotional impact levels. We cannot let that interfere with the destination,” the angry male voice boomed a stomping sound was followed by the teleport coming to life with a loud beeping noise and a beam of purple light.

Peter had just about enough and was about to dial Fury, when Deadpool smashed through the window without warning yelling “Improvisation!” Spider-Man had no other choice than to follow him.

“Hello my science fellas, I believe there is some naughty business going on here,” proclaimed the mercenary with a malicious hint in his voice. Peter was about to yell at him and throttle him right on the spot for being so reckless and possibly ruining a rare opportunity of catching Dr. Doom, but then he saw that the scientists drew out their guns and started shooting at both of them. Deadpool just laughed and took out one of his many guns. One of the scientists shot him twice in the leg.

“That tickles! I don’t like being tickled,” stated Deadpool as he shot the woman in a lab coat in her stomach multiple times.

“Deadpool! No un-aliving people! What the hell are you doing? We could have caught Dr. Doom and you blew it!” Spider-Man yelled through the gunshots as he, himself shot webs at the tallest of the trio. The ceiling was pretty high so he decided to swing from one corner of the lab, to get higher force behind his kick. What he didn’t expect was for another 5 armed people to come running through the door. One of them aimed at his hand and before his spidey sense could help him, his web shooter was shot off his wrist. Spider-Man was flying right at the giant ring-shaped teleport machine which was now buzzing with life, energy sprouting from it. His heart was beating faster than anything. He wanted to stop but it couldn’t be done. His webs weren’t working and he was being hurled right at the prototype teleport. Peter’s eyes behind the mask widened in horror. He could hear Deadpool yelling “No!” in the background followed by more gunfire.

“I fucking hate you, Wilson! Call..” and that was it. He didn’t get to finish that sentence because he was being succumbed into the void of purple light. Spider-Man flailed his arms around him attempting to grab the metal ring, but it slipped just past his fingers. He wanted to call for help but his voice was lost in the space around him. Peter felt as if he was thrown into a washing machine. His body was thrashing around. All he could see were specks of light and twinkles of color. An invisible force threw him to the side swiftly and he felt himself being thrown down.

Blinding light in Peter’s eyes made him squint and blink. He stopped falling. Taking in his surroundings, not fully being able to focus his eyes, Peter could feel a sofa underneath himself. ‘Where am I?’ he thought to himself. The smell was strangely familiar. Finally, his eyes managed to focus and the first thing he spotted were chemistry notes on a coffee table.

“You okay, Peter?” Gwen’s voice echoed from his right side.

Then it clicked. He was at Harry’s place. Wait. How was that even possible? Right. The teleport. This all seemed too normal to be a part of another dimension, though.

“Hello, earth to Peter?” Gwen repeated.

Peter jerked upwards, mouth slightly ajar in confusion. “Yeah, I’m alright,” he responded, coughing and scratching his head awkwardly.

“Sure you are,” Harry was sitting across the table. “Then why didn’t you answer your phone in under 5 seconds when Wade was calling you?” the younger Osborn eyed him suspiciously.

Peter’s confusion kept growing. “Who?”

“Don’t play dumb with us, Parker. Wade Wilson? Your science pal your best bud?” Gwen asked him, using a tone that indicated he should stop acting stupid.

‘This can’t be true. This can’t be happening! Nononononono,’ thought Peter. ‘Him and Wilson best buds? What kind of hell did he fall into?’

“Fuck,” Peter sighed and slammed his head against the coffee table in front of him.

 


	2. 'u ok?'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter finds his diary and looks through his camera roll ;)

His phone started ringing again. Peter slowly turned his head around and his eyes widened in horror when he saw the picture next to the caller ID. It was Wade pulling a goofy face, his eyes filled with joy. But it didn’t look like the Wade he was used to. There were no scars on his face, no angry red marks, just a hint of stubble and soft brown eyes. He picked up the phone and stared at it for a few beats before answering the call, not wanting to raise more suspicion.

“Hey,” Peter greeted hesitantly unsure what to expect. This alternative reality was creeping him out more and more with each passing second. 

“Hey sweetcheeks,” came as a loud response from the speaker. Great. Even here, Peter wasn’t safe from nicknames and casual innuendos. “You had me worried there for a bit when you didn’t pick up. Anyways, just wanted to ask what would you think of going to my place between school and Shield internship tomorrow, because  _ I _ , drumroll please, will make pancakes. I know you’ll say yes but I’m asking anyway, ‘cause I’m nice like that,” Wade went on with enthusiasm. 

Peter didn’t really understand half of what he just said so he merely responded, “Yeah, that’s okay I guess?”

“What’s up with you? You sound kinda upset,” Wade sounded genuinely concerned, “Is it because you don’t trust me with a pan, Parker? I’ll have you know I am great with pans. No pun intended.” Yeah. No, Peter had absolutely zero clue as to what was going on. “Don’t worry, I’ll pick you up after school so you won’t get lost again,” he reassured him.

“I’m fine, just tired I guess. Listen I gotta go now. See you, Wade,” he finished and ended the call before Wade managed to say anything else. He was so confused. ‘What Shield internship? Was that like a code for secret identity business or was it really an internship? Did they even have their powers here? Wade wasn’t scarred from Weapon X so something had to be different. How were they best friends? What else was different? And what the fuck is up with the  _ pans _ ?’

His inner monologue was interrupted by Harry. “Honestly, Peter. Is there something you want to talk about? You’re completely out of it all of a sudden,” the younger Osborn inquired and exchanged a glance with Gwen.

“Yeah, no snarky remarks and sarcastic back and forths with Wilson? You’re freaking  _ me  _ out,” she added.

Peter shook his head and rubbed his eyes. He should leave before he does something else this dimension’s Peter wouldn’t do. “I’m just really tired, guys. I think I might go home and have an early night. I promise I’m alright though,” he said, adding a fake yawn at the end, for good measure.

“Okay, Pete. Whatever you say.” Harry shrugged and returned to his notes. If looks could kill Peter would be dead by now, considering how hard were Gwen’s eyes piercing his skull, giving him the  _ ‘I can see through your bullshit’ _ look. Peter pointedly avoided eye contact with her, packed his notes swiftly and zipped up his backpack.

“See you both tomorrow,” he exclaimed and started walking towards the elevator, waving them goodbye on the way. As soon as the shiny elevator door closed behind him and he started descending from Osborn's lounge towards the ground floor, Peter let out a long, heavy sigh. He took out his phone, hoping alternative Peter have left some useful information on it. However, when he unlocked it he was surprised by the lockscreen. It was a picture of him and Wade, leaning in close, smiling into the camera. They looked so happy. Especially Wade. He wasn’t used to seeing him laugh without his mask on. Not genuinely at least. On top of that he realised that this Wade was also kind of attractive. He got so sidetracked by staring at the screen that he forgot to unlock it and look for clues, but before he could do so, the elevator rang, signalizing that he reached the entrance hall. Peter got out of the building, stepping into the breezy evening. The sky was slowly turning pink and New York streets were busy with people rushing home from work. He started walking home, going through the facts he knew about this dimension so far. Maybe he’d come up with something that would help him find way back home. He stopped few blocks away, coursing through his backpack looking for his web shooters or mask. He found nothing. He wasn’t wearing his suit underneath his clothes nor could he feel his spidey sense at the back of his mind. He was positively and completely fucked. No powers, no clue how he was supposed to act without raising suspicion, no way of getting back home anytime soon. He was so screwed and he was sure it was all Deadpool’s fault. Peter kicked a stone on the ground in frustration. S.H.I.E.L.D. better be working on a way to bring him back at this very second, so he could throw Wade into a blender as soon as he gets back.

Peter approached his house and it seemed the same as usual. He gulped nervously as he stuck the keys into the locker. He could hear voices talking in the kitchen. Aunt May was urgently explaining how keeping old baseball trophies was a waste of space. That’s when he heard it. The voice he though he’d never hear. Never expected to hear. But there it was uncle Ben’s voice as clear as a day arguing back. Peter couldn’t believe his own ears. It was impossible. He had to be dreaming. Maybe he didn’t actually fall into another dimension. Maybe he was in coma and this was all a dream. 

“Peter!” uncle Ben boomed from the kitchen, “please explain to your aunt the emotional value these baseball trophies have.” Peter could feel tears stinging at the corners of his eyes as he walked from the hallway. He was 99.9% sure he was awake so how could Ben be right there in front of him? It didn’t matter. He ran towards his uncle and wrapped his arms around his shoulders.

“Yeah. I missed you.”

“I missed you too buddy,” uncle Ben replied and hesitantly patted Peter’s back. “What has gotten into you? What’s going on with him, May? Did you fail a test?”

“No,” Peter said as he let go of Ben and shook his head with a chuckle, “I’m just glad to see you,” he sighed and kissed aunt May’s cheek. Talk about not being suspicious. Get a grip Parker. He was sure he was weirding them both out but he couldn’t help beaming at them once more before turning around and running to his room. He closed the door behind himself and finally let go of everything that happened since he got thrown here. A couple of droplets of tears fell down his cheeks. ‘Uncle Ben is alive,’ Peter thought, smile spreading across his face as a bittersweet feeling filled his chest. ‘This universe might not be so bad after all.’

He looked around his room wanting to see and adjust to the differences. It seemed that he still had a skateboard and a camera. That was good. Now it was time to search for the secrets hide-outs he had for his Spider-Man gear. With breath stuck in his throat, Peter opened the closet and reached the far left corner. Nothing. He tried the one underneath his bed. Still nothing. With small hope he opened his desk drawer and patted the its bottom from the outside. ‘ _ Yes! _ ’ He immediately crouched down and as soon as his eyes landed on the notebook taped on the drawer’s bottom his heart sank. It was just his diary. But wait, that wasn’t so bad. Maybe the diary could help explaining some things. Hopefully this universe’s Peter wasn’t such a slob at writing diaries as he was. 

Peter sat down on the floor, leaning against the bed. His hands were trembling with anticipation as he opened the front page of the diary and quickly flipped through the pages looking for the words Wade Wilson specifically. First thing his eyes landed on was a sentence all in capital letters ‘ _ I GOT IN !!!!! _ ’. The date was about 8 months old and the text below was scribbled down so hard the page had a couple of holes in it. Peter continued to read, hoping it would clear  _ anything  _ up.

_ The results came in the mail today and I got accepted into the Shield Internship! I’m so excited! Gwen is gonna freak out. I know she’d much rather work at Stark Labs rather than at Oscorp but that would hurt Harry’s feelings. I can’t wait to start it next month. Hopefully it’ll help me up my chances at getting the scholarship Stark Industries have. Oh and I’m gonna be 18 in two weeks. I hate growing up. I wish I had more time for naps and skateboarding.  _ He wished this was his concern back home at that time. But no,  _ he _ had to be too busy fighting a giant freakin’ lizard, of course. Life just wasn’t fair.

He flipped through some more pages. It was clear that the continuity of the writing was poor since in a month only about 10 pages were actually filled out.

_ There’s about 15 of us, which makes me even more amazed at how I actually got in. It’s all so interesting and modern. They have crazy equipment for everything. Today they just walked us around the laboratories showing us what they do where. I wasn’t really listening but we’re gonna be helping some of the younger developers there with creating this serum that is supposed to enhance your healing ability. It’s all very meta though. One of the guys on the team we’re gonna help is really cool though. He’s super funny and talkative I think the people he’s in a team with hate him for it because he seems to never shut his mouth but I thought it was entertaining. _

A week was missing here.

_ I need to get my grades up. I know May or Ben won’t mind a couple of Bs but if I want a scholarship that can’t happen. I think Harry likes Gwen. Which is cool and all but imagine how awkward that would be. I’d be the most awkward third wheel ever. Oh! That guy I mentioned. His name is Wade. He jokes at everyone’s expense and it can indeed get annoying sometimes but I don’t mind much. We’re getting somewhere with the serum but it seems that there is a problem with one part of the formula.  _

There was a two week long gap in the notes. Honestly, he sucked at keeping a consistent diary.

_ I may have a new friend. It’s the dude from Stark labs, Wade. He seems to like me more think he likes the other interns and he’s being very vocal about it. We exchanged numbers two days ago. He’s 26, works at Stark Labs, just got his Masters and is apparently a giant nerd. I’ve never texted anyone this much before. It’s kinda fun... _

Peter stared at the pages in disbelief. It’s not that he couldn’t imagine Wade doing all those things. Well, except maybe the being a scientist for a living part. The Wade  _ he  _ knows would probably blow something up as soon as he even stepped a foot into a laboratory. It was the part about them getting on so easily that he ceased to believe. He shook his head and turned the page around. According to the dates the gap between the notes was three months long. Great.

_ Gwen and Harry met Wade yesterday because they’ve been complaining that I spend too much time with him. Which is true I guess but I like spending time with him. I can’t joke around with them like I do with Wilson. Plus  _

His reading was cut off by the sound of incoming text message. Peter reached for his phone to look and unsurprisingly it was Wade.

‘ _ U ok? _ ’ it said with a concerned emoji accompanying it. What the hell was he supposed to write back? ‘I just got thrown into a reality where you actually care about others and don’t kill people and we’re best friends and I don’t know how to deal with all this.’ Probably not a great idea. He sighed, again, and scrolled through their text messages with curiosity. They were filled with witty banter and random science facts from Wade. A couple of pictures of them together or unflattering ones of Gwen and Harry from school cafeteria with captions like  _ ‘tfw Coulson postpones ur project’  _ and so on. The ones with just Wade and Peter or them separately were what caught his attention. They were mostly selfies of them pulling stupid faces though. He opened his camera roll, determined to find other pictures. There were a few of Wade making faces and dramatic hand gestures in front of museum exhibits, one of them with 3D glasses on, wade posing on a couch, both of them underneath a pink  _ Hello Kitty  _ umbrella, Wade looking ecstatic and Peter frowning, a picture of donuts, Wade in a lab coat laughing at something, both of them holding up tacos and many others. 

The weirdest part was seeing himself in the pictures, yet not remembering any of those moments. A strange pang of longing raised in his chest, wishing he could remember those moments. That feeling didn’t last long though, ending as soon as his phone started buzzing with messages again. Wade was sending him multiple hot dog emojis, each as a separate message. How the hell was he supposed to not kill him or get annoyed? This was going to be hard to get used to. Peter couldn’t really complain since as it seemed, he was freed of Spider-Man duty and uncle Ben was here. Wade’s messages didn’t seem to be stopping any time soon as he kept receiving now peach emojis,  _ ‘don’t ignore me Peteyyyyy’ _ and  _ ‘is there something wrong bby?’  _ and  _ ‘u ok’ _ three times in a row. Peter rolled his eyes as he opened the chat. His thumbs hovered above the keyboard as he hesitantly typed  _ ‘I don’t know.’ _ Because really, he had no clue. Part of him wanted to let go, just take this care-free life as an opportunity to recharge and accept that Wade actually might care and have an okay personality behind his Deadpool facade. The second part of him wanted to bolt out of his house and look for a way to get back home as soon as possible.

Peter got up from the floor and rubbed his eyes, hoping his homework was done already, because there was no way he’d do it now, he stripped down to his boxers and t-shirt and crawled underneath his covers. It was almost midnight and his eyes were closing, eyelids heavy with exhaustion, when another text message chimed in.

_ ‘:((( i’ll color Barton’s lab coat pink tmrw if it cheers u up..’  _ The corner of Peter’s mouth turned up with a smirk at the thought. Clint was in this universe as well? Good to know. He wondered who else he should expect.

_ Wade: ‘Actually no, he’d like that. Romanoff’s reaction would be funnier.’ _ At that Peter chuckled and typed a reply without giving it a second thought.

_ Peter: ‘Hell no! Unless ur feeling particularly suicidal i would not touch Natasha’s stuff.’ _

_ Wade: ‘OMG, he lives!!!’ _

_ Peter: ‘Ha ha very funny, Wilson. I’m going to bed now bye.’ _

_ Wade: ‘Without me???’ _

_ Wade: ‘Good night Petery-cakes, sleep tight xxxx’ _

Maybe this universe wasn’t that awful after all. Peter thought as he slowly fell into a dreamless sleep.

***

_ ‘Shit!’  _ cursed Peter internally. He’s so late. Again. He was speeding on his skateboard towards the school gate and trying to get his class schedule out of his backpack at the same time. Peter prayed to God it would be at least similar to the one he had at home. It wasn’t. By the skin of his teeth, he managed to sit down right when the bell rang. The day passed in a blur of chemistry tests and him fearing the upcoming meeting with Wade. Gwen was giving him the stink eye the entire school day, Flash laughed and pointed at him when he fell over his untied shoelaces and Harry complained about everything he could. Nothing  _ that  _ out of the ordinary, much to his relief. The last period was coming to a close and Peter’s anxiety was boiling in his chest. What’s he supposed to do? Is this Peter as sarcastic to Wade as he normally is? How much of his joking is he supposed to actually laugh at? He was considering jumping out of the classroom window to avoid the rest of his day when the last bell rang. Students that were drooling on their desks all around him bolted upright like dogs hearing the rustling of a bag of treats. Everyone started pushing each other, eager to get out.

Peter was slowly walking through the entrance hall towards the gate. He gulped and ran his hands through his hair, looking around. People were running and walking around him, each heading in a slightly different direction. The sky turned darker since the morning and it felt as if the grey clouds were laughing at his misery. He tried to look around for the familiar figure. Surely, not long after, his eyes landed on a tall man, wearing a dark red hoodie. ‘Some things never change,’ Peter thought to himself. Wade was smirking at him, hands at his hips. Peter slowly approached the older man, hoping he’d speak up first.

“You ready for my disastrous cooking skills, Parker?” Wade said, throwing his arm across Peter’s shoulders.

“Only if you promise not to poison me,” Peter replied, smiling at the familiarity of this dialogue. But then again, he really shouldn’t be warning Wade Wilson, of all people, not to poison him two times in 48 hours.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will try and upload at least one chapter each week as long as there will be people who read it :D  
> Anyways, leave me your thoughts in the comments as feedback is always appreciated :)


	3. Pancakes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm really sorry, that this chapter is SO short I've been having a rough time getting anything creative out for the past week. Hopefully I'll make it up to you with the next one.  
> Thanks to my friend Alzbet for pushing me forward with writing and proofreading. Also thank you to everyone who left me nice comments so far, you're the best c:

As the entrance door to Wade’s apartment opened Peter breathed in deeply, catching a pleasant smell of a flowery laundry detergent and coffee. As soon as the door closed Wade crouched, while a grey cat stalked towards him, meowing loudly. ‘Wade has a cat?’ thought Peter, ‘I wonder if he has one back home.’

“Hey, Waffle! Who’s the bestest cat ever? Hope you didn’t piss all over my bedsheets again, you fucker,” cooed Wade and scratched her head. It purred and nuzzled against his palm with closed eyes. ‘Cute,’ thought Peter as he snickered, ‘Wait what?’ He shook his head and looked around the living room and kitchen in one, taking in the surroundings. It was a bit messy, but not so much that it made the place uninviting. Just enough that it felt lived in. ‘Kind of like this universe’s Wade,’ occurred to Peter. Wade straightened up and stretched his arms above his head.

“Why do you look so surprised, Petey? I know it’s messier than your bedroom but it’s not  _ that  _ bad.” He threw his hoodie on the sofa and walked to the large silver fridge. “Besides, we can’t all be perfect like you.” Wade bowed down, studying the its contents.

“You want OJ?” he asked, voice muffled by the fridge door. 

Peter who was too busy staring at Waffle, who was scratching his jeans, jerked his head upwards and shrugged. Realizing that Wade couldn’t see him, he cleared his throat and replied, “Yeah, sure.” Wade was setting ingredients up on the counter and immediately added a box of OJ next to them. Peter looked around once more, catching a glimpse of many DVD piles next to the TV, as well as a few books and chemistry plans scattered across the coffee table. He turned back to Wade, worried that he might look as if he’s never been there before. Which wasn’t true, as long as this Wade was concerned. 

“Honestly Peter just sit down you’re making me and Waffle nervous.” Wade frowned and propped a mixing bowl against his hip. Peter shrugged awkwardly and walked to the kitchen bar that was along the counter where Wade was now mixing flour with milk. He sat down on one of the stools and reached for the box of orange juice.

“Can you pass me a glass?” he asked, raising his eyebrows. ‘Why is my voiced so pitched? Peter Benjamin Parker, get a grip. It’s just Wade Wilson not Deadpool,’ said a voice in his head that sounded suspiciously like Gwen and Aunt May combined.

“What the fuck? Where do you think you are? Just drink it straight from the box? Who has time to wash your dirty cups, Parker?” replied Wade, alarmed, “Drinking OJ? Out of a glass? Not under my roof. Now, be oh so kind sweet-cheeks and mix this for me as I dive into this mess in search for a pan.” He handed Peter the mixing bowl now filled with pancake batter along with a whisk and gestured to the opened cabinet, overflowing with pots. Peter started mixing the batter carefully, making sure not to spill any.

“Aha!” Wade shouted triumphantly and struck his pan carrying hand in the air. He started humming a familiar tune. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and plugged it into the stereo system.  _ Hooked On A Feeling _ started pouring out of the speakers and Wade nodded approvingly, swaying his hips ever so slightly to the rhythm. Peter couldn’t help but let out a surprised laugh, letting the whisk fall into the bowl. 

“Now, that’s more like the Peter I know and love,” Wade grinned at him and pointed at him with a spatula that he was now holding in his right hand. 

“ _ I’m hooked on a feeling _ ,” Wade wailed, vigorously swaying the spatula in front of Peter’s face, “ _ I’m high on believing. _ ” Peter had a huge smile plastered on his face now, shaking his head in disbelief at how ridiculous Wade was. This was nice. As stressful as being stuck in an unknown universe could be, this felt incredibly comfortable and stress-free, Peter had to admit.

“ _ Got a bug from you girl, but I don't need no cure _ ,” Wade continued to sing and took the mixing bowl from Peter’s hands. He spun around and set the bowl next to the stove. Peter propped his chin on his hand as he watched him pour the batter on the pan, wondering how will the first pancake turn out. It ended up burnt, of course, because Wade was too busy dramatically singing to flip it. And when he tried to do so, it wouldn’t come off the pan. Peter laughed hysterically at the look surprise in Wade’s face. More 70s hits continued to play and finally on his third attempt Wade managed to finish a decent looking pancake, with Moonage Daydream playing in the background.

They were sitting opposite of each other on the sofa with a huge plate filled with pancakes between them, TV playing next to them to fill the comfortable silence between Wade’s babbling. Waffles was sitting on Peter’s lap, purring and Wade was enthusiastically telling him about a book he just started reading. It was so easy to get used to this all. To not having super responsibilities, not having to worry about watching his back all the time, to this Wade whose constant rambling wasn’t a side effect of insanity, who didn’t murder people and who was admittedly sort of funny. Peter sighed wishing he could keep this. But he knew all too well that he should be looking for a way to get back. It was the responsible thing to do. Wade stopped in the middle of a sentence.

“Hey. You’re okay?” he inquired for what felt like a thousandth time in the last twenty-four hours. 

“Yeah, all is well in the Parker mind palace,” Peter said, his smile only partially forced, as he looked up to meet Wade’s eyes, “It’s nice that you care though.” He desperately wished to have someone who he could trust with what was really bugging him. He wasn’t sure this Wade was that person just yet. Wade might call Peter crazy, for a change, if he told him the full truth.

“Why wouldn’t I care? You’re my best bud. You’re not alowed to be sad. Not with me around.” Wade scrunched his eyebrows and then he poked Peter’s side with his foot, grinning. Peter yelped and the pancake he was holding up fell out of his hand, landing on Waffle’s head. The cat screeched and jumped up, trailing across the room. Now it was staring at Peter from the corner and hissing. Wade, naturally found it hilarious and laughed so hard he started coughing.

“Poor Waffle,” Peter stated, grinning. He lifted the fallen pancake that had grey hair all over it now. He stood up to throw it away. When he turned around from trash can he saw Wade sprawled across the sofa, smiling at him with half lidded eyes as if the plate of pancakes was on his head instead next to Wade’s leg. Strange.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the next chapter we'll travel back to the Spider-verse to see how the ordinary Peter is holding up. (I'll try and have it up as soon as I can)


	4. What the fuck is going on and why am I wearing spandex?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter takes place in the spiderman-verse so get ready to see Peter freak out again.  
> (I'm SO SORRY for not uploading anything for so long but I didn't have a computer and the summer was very hectic. I have no clue how often I'll be able to update this with school and work driving me crazy but I promise I'll try to do a chapter per week or two. Be sure, though that I will definitely finish the story)

What the hell was that sound? Oh right, that was him, screaming. Why would Peter Parker, an ordinary eighteen year old student from Queens, be screaming for his dear life you ask? Well, that was because one second he was revising Chemistry on a very comfortable sofa, the next second he found himself in the middle of a gunfight, wearing spandex. His chest was tight with nerves and his breathing ragged and shallow. There was also a strange sensation in his head, sort of like an alarm going batshit crazy, warning him that he was in danger. Not that he hasn't figured that one out by now, thank you very much.

Peter started looking around in panic, taking in the surroundings. The only thing his mind was able to process at that point were loud noises, swarm of armed people, wearing matching lab coats and yelling. A man in a blood red suit was standing on the other side of the room and he was shooting everyone around with two huge guns. Peter was unsure whether he should be afraid of him or grateful that he was terminating the scientists who didn't look so friendly and were previously shooting at him.

"I sure hope Dr. Doom won't be angry that I broke his toys," the man yelled over the gunshots. That voice, that stance of slightly parted legs and that cheerful tone. Why did he sound so familiar to Peter?

"Hey, Spidey! You're back! I thought you fell into that thing." He waved towards something behind Peter's back. Peter spun around to see what the hell was he talking about.

"Woah," he whispered as his sight landed on a large circular device that was oozing with purple energy.

"I called S.H.I.E.L.D. as you said, by the way. Or should I say by the Wade?" came from behind Peter, followed by a laugh. That laugh. He knew that laugh. It was his favourite sound. Peter's mouth opened in shock behind the mask. Wade! His Wade.

This made no sense. Was he dreaming? He had to be dreaming. Maybe he fell asleep during revision. Again. Oh man, Gwen is going to kill him. 

"Wade?" Peter let out in disbelief. 

"No, your mum," Wade responded with sarcasm and effortlessly shot a leg of a man who was aiming at Peter. "Why won't you move, Spidey? You know it's getting really hard, covering your ass while fighting all these guys as well."

"I..." Peter's response got stuck in his throat when he realized he didn't know what to say. He was just standing there, glued to the ground.

Another load of people in lab coats entered the room. Peter jumped up, terrified, and his back hit the wall.

"What the fuck is going on, Wade?" he screeched, his voice one octave higher than usual and shaky. 'Let me wake up. Please, God, let me wake up from this nightmare right now,' was racing through Peter's head as the hostile men were approaching him. The additional gunfire overwhelmed his senses. Peter's heart was racing so fast he thought he was going to have a heart attack. The men that weren't hit by Wade's bullets were now coming onto him. His head was buzzing, blood pumping, heart thudding.

"Hey, Spider-Man! Do something for fuck's sake!" Wade's worried voice reached him, but Peter's body didn't listen to him. It was paralyzed with fear.

"Fucking hell," yelled Wade and ran towards him, shooting everyone in the way. To Peter it seemed as if a million things happened at once He could hear a tremendous ruckus coming from the outside accompanied by light flowing from the windows. Simultaneously, Wade threw himself in front of Peter, shielding him with his body. The glass windows broke and more people flooded the lab. These were, however, dressed in strange blue suits.

Gunfire. Even more gunfire. Blinding light. Wade. Shooting. Blood. Wade's body jerked backwards a few times. People were falling on the ground. Then it happened. Wade's chest was pierced by a sharp metal, straight through his heart. Immediately, the man who was holding the object fell on the ground along with Wade.

"Oh God," whispered Peter into the chaos, "No."

Wade was lying on the ground, right there in front of him, unmoving. Blood was flowing from everywhere, soaking the shredded glass and bullets beneath Wade.Peter's eyes widened even more in horror, his whole body shaking, shock was sending waves of nausea through his stomach.

"Wade!" he yelled, "My God, Wade." Peter stumbled towards him, his knees giving up. The surroundings were all blurred out by now. For Peter, the entire world stopped at the sight of Wade's lifeless body. He was barely aware of shouting and people running around. He reached forward, and shook Wade's blood stained shoulders desperately.

"Please wake up Wade," Peter sobbed, his voice quivering. His hands grabbed Wade's torso, holding onto him for dear life.

"Wade," he whispered, barely audible, vision blurry. 

"Wade," Peter repeated, this time more urgently, "I..." his words were left unfinished, as his body fell on top of Wade, who a second later sat up with a loud intake of breath.

"Petey?" he looked down, confused, at the unconscious teen.  
  
***  
  
"...incredibly fucking stupid, Wilson!" Was the first thing Peter heard as his mind slipped slowly from the heavy cloud of sleep. His head was pounding and he could hear a distant beeping of a heart monitor.

“You know what Stark? Why don’t you just…” Wade’s angry response came to a quick stop when Peter started blinking, trying to get used to the harsh light.

“Peter?” sounded a concerned familiar voice. Peter turned his head towards it and to his surprise he saw Clint Barton. Well, he had Clint’s face but he was dressed in a strange dark attire with something that appeared to be a crossbow poking from behind his back. The next strange thing Peter noticed was how well he could see without his glasses. What was he doing in this strange modern hospital room with Clint of all people, Peter wondered and stared at Barton open mouthed.

“Hey kid, what do you remember last? You were out cold for a good while,” came from the other side of the room. Another familiar voice, Peter thought. He turned his head slowly, not wanting to worsen the headache and nausea. His eyes landed on none other than Tony Stark the man that owns Stark Labs. Peter understood virtually nothing. He thought it could not possibly get any more confusing when he spotted a tall man dressed in red and black suit. The same suit he saw Wade in when he saw him die, to be precise.

“I..” Peter was trying to get his voice to work and ask what the hell was this and when can he please wake up.

“What’s going _on_?” he finally spoke up in a small voice.

“We fought Doom’s minions, you fell into a glowing thing, started acting all freaky, I died and you fainted. End of story,” summarised Wade, or rather the person who sounded like Wade.  
“What are you wearing Wade, for God’s sake? And why is your boss here?” asked Peter panic rising in his voice, gesturing at Tony. “Last I remember I was revising Chemistry with Gwen and then people were shooting at me and you died Wade! Oh God, you _died_! How are you here? I thought I lost you, you stupid fuck,” he was close to hysterical yelling now, breathing hard and shaking his head ever so slightly. “And how did I get here? Oh my God, Wade please just take that mask off, it’s freaking me out,” he sighed and let his head fall into his hands.

“Well, that confirms my biggest fears,” began Tony and pinched the bridge of his nose, “that thing he fell into was a portal to another dimension and from this babbling, I presume this,” he gestured at Peter in frustration, “isn’t our Peter. This kid is not Spiderman, just an ordinary teen, Peter Parker. Which means our Peter is stuck somewhere, without his powers!” Clint was staring at Tony in shock and Peter’s eyes widened in horror.

“Shit! Fuck! Fucking shit,” swore Wade, “Spidey is never going to forgive me for this. He’s going to kill me! That is, if we can get him back,” he added jokingly. Clint and Tony started arguing with him, speaking loudly over each other. Peter felt like his head was about to explode and he was seriously starting to lose it.

“Can _anybody_ tell me what happened, because I think I just lost my mind,” yelled Peter. The room went quiet and the three men turned their heads towards him in silence. Tony’s gaze flicked over to Clint in a silent plea for help.

“Uh,” started Clint, “you may have been transformed into a different dimension,” he said and flinched a bit, readying himself for Peter’s reaction.

“What the fuck?” whispered Peter barely audible.

“Yeah and it may have been my fault.” Wade raised his gloved hand.

“This is going to take a lot for you to process but hear me out and I’ll try and answer as much as possible,” said Tony slowly and he moved towards Peter’s bed as if he was approaching a wounded animal.

“Let’s see,” he began, “your mind, or awareness  of sorts has been switched with Peter Parker that lives in a different universe. Because in this dimension Peter Parker is a bit less ordinary than you in yours. You see, you possess great abilities and there are many scientific differences in this and your dimension. For example, superheroes may be sort of real.” continued Tony.

Peter was frowning at him in confusion.

“Ho-how am _I_ different then?” his voice turned small, fearing the answer he was going to get.

“You may have been bitten by a radioactive spider,” Wade spoke up instead of Tony, “You never actually told me the story but I know it from the talking boxes and shit. Your origin story is so lame, no offence…” he would have continued with his rambke if it weren’t for the daggers Clint was glaring at him.

“A spider? _Dude_ , the hell?”

“Yes, well it gives you extraordinary strength, speed and loads of other perks, I’ll show you later,” explained Clint.

“Then what bit you?” Peter asked scrunching his face at Wade.

“Oh, needles! Lots of them. I’m also a part bear and a vampire! It’s bitchin’,” he replied with pride. Peter grinned, knowing too well that this was Wade’s ‘I’m being a sarcastic piece of shit voice’. He was going to join in on the joke, almost forgetting where he was when he saw the lack of amusement on Clint and Tony’s faces.

“No, Deadpool here, is just a psychopath,” Clint rolled his eyes.

“Dead-who?”

“Oh yeah that’s my cool superhero name!” Wade explained.

“Anyway,” Tony interrupted him and started again, “As I mentioned things are a bit different here. I don’t know what’s it like in your world but I sense that you know who we are?” he questioned.

“Well, you’re the man who owns a huge science company and I go to your labs for an internship, Clint is in the department I go to and Wade as well. I don’t really know Barton a lot, and I’ve only seen a few times. Oh and me and Wade are best friends,” he added as a matter of fact. The reactions he got from the rest were pretty extreme. Clint’s mouth fell open, Tony whispered: “Please tell me you’re joking.” and whined and Deadpool-Wade started laughing so hard he grabbed at his sides in pain.

“My dreams are becoming true!” Wade whooped, “Oh man, Spidey is going to fucking hate your universe, but we’re going to have so much fun,” he continued.

“What did I say?” Peter shook his head a little, scrunching his eyebrows in confusion.

“How to put this lightly,” sighed Clint, “Wilson here is sort of a mercenary and Peter usually finds him unbearably annoying. Oh I don’t know science for shit, nor does Wade. I’m more or a bow and arrow man. But you got Tony right. Mostly. Except he’s more specialised in technology than science. Also he has a robotic suit.”

“Well yeah, he’s annoying but that’s the charm.” grinned Peter.

“Really? that’s what you chose to respond to?” asked baffled Tony.

“How do I know you here then?”

“We’re all a part of the Avengers. A not so secret group of evil fighting enhanced people. And before you ask, yes, you are the youngest member. Tony made an exception for you because he saw a great deal of potential in you,” explained Clint.

“The Avengers? I’m sorry but that sounds made up. Also if technology really is so advanced in this world does that mean you can fix the travelling machine and send me back?”

Tony rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. “We’re working on that bit. It appears that the machine is actually kind of broken. Nothing unfixable, I’m sure.”

“Classic Parker luck,” exclaimed Peter as he threw his hands up in astonishment. His eyes widened. “Parker. Wait! What time is it? Do aunt May and uncle Ben know about this?” The group exchanged worried glances and avoided Peter’s eyes.

“What?” Peter flickered his gaze from Clint to Tony. “What?” he repeated, this time more urgently.

“Peter,” sighed Clint, “Your… your uncle, he… he died. Shot by a robber, died on the spot.”

Peter let out a choked sob as he silently shook his head. Clint reached towards him and squeezed his shoulder in sympathy.

“Sorry, man.”

He couldn't hear them any more. Peter continued shaking his head and without his notice, tears rolled down his cheeks.

“Let’s pretend I have at least a teaspoon of empathy in my body and this isn’t weird, but hey Petey I’m really sorry. How about we hug it out?” said Wade. When Peter ignored the costume he could feel the familiarity of Wade’s voice when it said his name like that and so when Deadpool approached his bed and stretched out his arms, Peter gladly tumbled forward to his chest.

“Woah, a Peter who allows this?” Wade laughed in surprise as he patted the top of Peter’s head and put his arm around his shoulder.

“When can I go back home? Please?” sounded a muffled voice from Wade’s chest.

“Soon, kid, soon,” reassured him Clint.

Peter sniffled and turned around, “Hey, don’t call me that. I’m legal!”

“Still a kid,” argued Wade with a smirk. And for the first time since ordinary Peter Parker arrived into this dimension, he genuinely smiled, despite the redness of his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave a comment if you liked it or any construct criticism :) it means a lot either way. Also what universe should I explore in the next chapter? Spider-verse or normal Peter? :D


	5. Why are you avoiding me?

Peter laid in his bed late at night, staring at his ceiling. His day began normally and ended as the most insane and unbelievable experience ever. He was focusing on the fact that if things didn’t go too bad he should be back home soon. Home, where Uncle Ben was alive, where the only thing he was responsible for were his grades and where no one died on daily basis. ‘How come Wade was still alive though? I should ask him tomorrow. Or maybe this whole thing is a very convincing hallucination,’ thought Peter. He swore to himself that when he gets back, he’s never going to complain ever again.

***

“This is your gear. You used to have only a few home-made suits but Tony and Steve couldn’t look at it so they had these made for you,” Clint explained and gestured towards the lit up shelves filled with strange gadgets and figurines baring sleek suits with spiderweb design on them. Two were in red and blue colors and the third was in black and red.

Peter stood there, his mouth slightly ajar as he reached towards the shelves in awe.

“Holy shit! That’s mine? I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything cooler than this in my entire life? And what are all of these things?” Peter rambled excitedly as he ghosted his fingers across Spiderman’s webshoooters and explosive spider plaques.

“Funny. I swear that was your exact same reaction when Tony showed you the suits for the first time as well,” said Clint and chuckled. “Go ahead, try one of them on and I’ll be in the training room. I can show you some videos of you in action so you’ll see what this body can do and then train with you for a bit.” And with that was Peter left alone in the alien room. He slowly stripped off his pants and a t-shirt and started tentatively putting one his Spiderman suits on. He had noticed, even yesterday that his body was slightly more shaped and firmer. He no longer needed to catch a breath after running around the school between periods and could see perfectly without his glasses. As he grabbed the facemask he thought: ‘This is going to be fun,’ and took one of the gadgets off the shelf. It was light, yet made to withstand a lot of pressure and rough-handling. Peter twisted the device between his fingers. It appeared to be some kind of wristband. He put it on and turned his hand around in front of his face. He ran his fingers across his palm and felt a slight bump located in the middle. Wondering what it did, he of course pressed it and regretted it immediately after, as the webbing fluid bursted into his eyes, forming a sealed layer of web across his eyes. Peter cursed and started clawing it off, pretty sure he lost at least half of his eyelashes and eyebrows in the process.

He fidgeted uncomfortably in his suit as he walked into to the training room, feeling strangely exposed in the skin tight material.

“What took you so long. Thought I was gonna decay over here,” joked Clint.

“Me and this _thing_ ,” started Peter, frowning at his webshooter, “had a bit of a disagreement.”

“Your webshooter?”

“My web-what?” asked Peter and frowned at Clint.

“You webshooter,” repeated Clint, “It’s a device you designed yourself. I have no idea how though, you were only like 16. It shoots webbing out of your arms and it is strong as hell” he shuddered as if he was remembering an unpleasant event.

Peter studied the band around his wrist more closely with raised eyebrows. ‘That’s actually very neat and sort of genius’ he had to admit that to himself. He really wanted to look into the science behind these things, especially if they were really his own creation.

“Let’s get started, shall we?” Clint said and clapped his hands together and without any warning started shooting at Peter. Something buzzed at the back of his neck. It felt like an alarm clock trapped inside his skull screaming ‘danger’. What it did was it made Peter involuntary dodge all of the bullets without thinking. His heart was beating loudly as the bullets clinked with the wall across the room.

“What the hell?” he screamed at the top of his lungs, “Are you trying to murder me, Barton?”

“ _That_ was what you call your ‘spidey-sense’,” grinned Clint, “it notifies you of incoming danger so your reflexes can save your ass before your eyes even register that something’s coming at you.”

“Couldn’t you, I don’t _know_ , maybe explain this to me _before_ you started shooting at me?” yelled Peter, his chest heaving.

“Now, where would be fun in that. Besides those were only practice bullets, nothing lethal,” he waved his hand in dismissal. “Let’s have some fun with a bit of Avengers training drills Natasha came up with”

The look of horror in Peter’s face behind his mask was priceless.

***

Peter was resting - he refused to call it nearly passed out - on the ground of the training room with his mask moved up over his nose and breathed heavily, recovering from the intense session and shock. The things this body could do were more insane than he’d ever think.

“Move it, Spider,” mumbled Clint and prodded his side with the tip of his shoe.

“Just a few minutes, mum,” Peter coughed out and turned to his side.

Clint rolled his eyes and started walking towards the exit. “Fine but I’m leaving and locking the door behind me.”

Peter groaned and slowly pulled himself upwards. “Ok, Jesus Christ, no need to rush.”

They moved across the corridors and eventually reached another room with equally modern design as the rest of the facility. Everything was sleek and well lit. This one had a lot more screens and hi-tech computers all over it.

“I’m gonna show some news footage of you in action also some of the stuff we’ve been up to as Avengers,” Clint proclaimed as he sat on one of stools that were lining one side of the spacious room and gestured for Peter to do the same. He quickly pressed a few things on the desk in front of him and a large holographic screen popped out of nowhere. There were a few videos of him in his suit swinging through the NYC streets and of him battling intimidating looking things. To Peter Parker, who’s most feared nemesis was Flash Thompson, they were something that you’d describe only as the stuff of nightmares. He sat there, his Spiderman mask long forgotten on the stool next to him, as he watched a video after video of Spiderman’s brave actions. After what seemed only like a minute but was in fact a good half an hour Clint moved to his team ups. They were all impressive to say the least. The group of superheroes looked perfectly synched and serious.

“My life is so boring compared to this,” sighed Peter as he leaned over the desk, “Don’t get me wrong I appreciate what I have, you know? But it’s very mundane compared to.. to this,” he finished and gestured vaguely at the screens.

“Listen up, kid,” started Clint with a hard look on his face, “I know this all seems very fancy, but trust me when I say this. Besides Wilson’s constant annoying presence Peter probably thinks your universe is a wonderful break. He’d never give up his powers and helping people, for sure, but there is a lot more darkness these clips don’t include.”

“I know,” replied Peter sullenly, “I know, I’m sorry and I agree. It’s just that these,” he waved his gloved hands around, “are really neat.”

Clint’s eyes softened and his ruffled his hair. “They are, aren’t they?”

“Speaking of neat, or rather not neat, how can you be best friends with Wade?” asked Clint, puzzled.

Peter grinned widely and put his elbow on the desk leaning back. “Easily! He’s by far the funniest and kindest person I’ve ever met.” he proclaimed and crossed his arm, ready to defend Wade if necessary. Peter’s eyebrows scrunched together immediately after, “Where is he anyway?”

Clint mimicked Peter’s baffled expression, “I don’t know, he’s usually all over you whenever you’re here. Maybe he’s avoiding you. You know, he’s not a very good person here. He’s done some fucked up shit.”

“He’s not exactly a saint in my universe either. His past isn’t the best.”

“But you’re still friends with him?” asked Clint and hummed to himself.

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be” Peter replied defensively, “You want to tell me you haven’t done anything wrong in your past?”

“Fair enough,” Clint said with raised eyebrows

***

It was 12pm and Peter's duvets were covered by revision notes. October rain was drumming on his window, slowly lulling him to sleep. He felt the most at home ever since he woke up yesterday. He was looking through his phone, searching for a certain person’s number before he fell completely asleep.

“Aha!” he stage whispered to himself when his eyes spotted the tiny electronic letters spelling _Wade_ followed by a poo emoji. His brain sluggish with exhaustion only allowed his fingers to tap out a message with the question that has been bugging him the most. _Why does Spiderman/Peternotmepeter hate you so much?_

***

There was no response in Peter’s inbox the next day. After school he hurried to the S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters, looking for Wade. Apparently no one has heard of his whereabouts ever since Peter last saw him. He was so desperate to talk to his supposed best friend. He tried calling Wade a couple of times and searched the training and shooting rooms twice. After an hour of search Peter was nearing desperation. A few good aimed questions at a couple of agents led him to a technical room. Solid 20 minutes of trial and error got Peter to where he wanted to be, which was looking at a map with a locator indicating Wade’s current whereabouts thanks to their communication equipment. The small red dot was hovering on top of a skyscraper. Peter wrote down the address with a heavy sigh and a wish that Wade wouldn’t move until he got there.

Deadpool was sitting on a rooftop, with New York City  sprawled in front of him. The rooftops and shiny window walls of skyscrapers were hued with pink of the falling fall sun. His legs were dangling in the air, hooked dangerously over the roof’s edge and elbows propped on his knees. Thanks to the mask Peter was mostly unable to decipher his emotions as he swung towards him. Trying to look nonchalant, Peter sat next to him, leaned back, facing Wade and lifted his mask over his nose.

“Finally found you.” he grinned, trying to disguise his heart quickly beating in his chest.

“So desperate to see me again?” Wade replied with an unnaturally high tone.

“Stop faking being cheerful, you know I can hear it in your voice.” Peter said defensively.

“Babycakes I’d never fake it for you.” Deadpool yelped in mock hurt.

“Then tell me why won’t you reply to my texts?”

Wade laughed bitterly and looked away. “Me and you don’t _‘text’_ ” he started making air quotes with his fingers, “you patrol with me once or twice a week and usually end up yelling at me in frustration.

“That’s Spiderman you’re talking about. Not me. I might share his body and all but the Wade that I know…”

“That’s it! I’m not the Wade that you know. I’m much worse and you shouldn’t be around me.” he shook his head and was about to get up, “Now if you excuse me, I have bad guys to shoot and self-pity to wallow in.”

“Stop avoiding me!” Peter yelled and yanked Wade back down, “As far as I know, you would have died for the opportunity to be Spiderman’s best friend just three days ago and now you’re trying to get rid of me just because you don’t think I can handle you? I have spider DNA running through my veins, do you really think it’s possible for me to be more weirded out by this universe than I already am?” he was now fuming with frustration.

“Nice pep talk kid, but I don’t think you’d like me very much if you knew who I was. I don’t want to hold this all against the perfect me you know,”

“You’re hardly perfect! Yeah, you’re funny and caring and everything but you can also be very immature, irresponsible and tactless and as far as I know you’ve done dome very despicable things in the past to get by, but that didn’t stop me from being your best friend!”

“This isn’t a romantic teenage movie where you spill your guts and I cry and we make up and ride off to the sunset, Peter,” Wade’s use of his normal name without any added letter was what startled Peter more than anything he’s said. “This is my reality, not your perfect universe where you live and everything is normal. In this reality, you’d run of screaming and would hate me forever.”

“Do you have any idea how hard this is for _me_? I literally got sucked into this without any warning and witnessed you dying. My uncle is dead, I’m failing two classes, I fight monsters and baddies instead of sleep apparently and I have crazy things happening to my body, no puberty jokes Wade, please,” he added as he saw Wade’s mouth quirk up behind his mask. Peter sighed and took his mask off his face completely to press his palms against his eyes. “I wish you’d take off that mask, Wade. I need to be able to talk to you and know that it’s really you. Please.” he almost whispered the last word and looked ahead of them over the slowly darkening sky.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” refused Deadpool. “It’s not a good look on me.”

“Whatever,” Peter started hesitantly, choking on his own frustration, “whatever you have under there, even if it’s a swarm of bees as long as you still have your eyes I won’t care.”

“I can’t… I’m actually allergic to bees and…” Wade’s rambling got cut off when Peter reached over and touched his masked neck.

“What are you doing? I haven’t even took you out on our second date yet” Wade attempted to swat him away with a laugh.

“Wade, calm down it’ll be alright.” Peter rolled his eyes and felt around his neck to set the mask loose.

“Calm? Who’s that? Is he okay?”

Peter slowly, with shaky hands, pried the fabric open and started rolling it up, his eyes locked on Wade’s face. The silence was only interrupted by a distant wailing of silence and Deadpool’s slow breathing. Peter’s face didn’t change a bit, even as a part of the scarred flesh was revealed. His expression stayed focused, eyebrows knitted slightly and lips sealed. It didn’t take long to get the mask over Wade’s mouth and nose. By this point the scarring was so obviously there and not ending. Peter took the rest off with one swifter movement and held the red fabric to him so Wade wouldn’t be able to take it immediately back.

“Why aren’t you throwing up already?” Wade said, expression stoic.

Peter’s eyebrows shot up and then his face softened. The corners of his mouth were twitching upwards and he stroked his face with his hands, Deadpool’s mask still in them.

“I missed your eyes, you asshole.” he almost laughed and threw the mask in Wade’s lap. “You _really_ thought I’d hate you for this?”

“You wouldn’t be the first to do so,” Wade looked down.

“I’m sure it’s because of your terrible puns and not your looks that people hate you, Wilson,” he said and very lightly punched Wade’s shoulder.

“I’m not very good. I’ve killed a lot of people and did very bad things to many. I hear things and I’m a mess. I try to be better but I’m not courageous like you,” Wade opened up.

“This whole world is a mess and frankly I don’t really care,” replied Peter and turned forward, watching the city unfold in front of them. “I just want to go back home soon. This …” he shook his head, unable to finish.“

“It’s scary, Wade.” Peter admitted and put his arms around his own shoulders.

“I know,” Wade whispered back and patted him on the back.

“I’m glad you’re here though. I’d rather be stuck in a universe where you’re literally a talking houseplant than in one where you’re not at all.”

“What the fuck did I say about the romantic teenage movie ending?”

Peter shot a web at Wade’s arm with an airy laugh as he was half heartedly trying escape Wade's attempt at giving him a noogie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this took so long to update once again, with school and work everything is very hectic but I hope to have another chapter up by the next week's end. Hopefully this wasn't too bad. Props to those who can write Wade, well I find it incredibly hard. Next chapter should be taking place in the no superheroes universe. Don't hesitate to leave a comment, every opinion is welcomed and appreciated :) (I'm probably going to be adding some canon things from the ongoing Spider-Man/Deadpool comic in the later chapters just btw)


	6. Peter faints way too often for his liking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> no superpowers universe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really sorry that this took so long. I promise that I'll finish the story as I already have it planned out but the updates might be a bit off since I have a lot of school, work and life in general to deal with, so please bare with me and I love you all! Hope you'll like this one.

It’s been four days and nothing has changed. Nobody noticed except for Wade that something was wrong. Peter’s attempts to find a scientific solution to this problem all ended with a disaster. Unsurprisingly, if you look up interdimensional travel all you get is conspiracy theories.

Day five was nearing its end and Peter felt himself growing more and more desperate. Whenever he talked to Wade or Gwen he wanted to scream “help me” in their faces but that would probably just land him a nice stay in a mental institution. He was basically living his ideal life with good future, family and all of his friendships intact, yet his skin crawled each time he remembered everything that could go colossally wrong without him back home. He wanted to scream and punch his own face for never being satisfied and ruining what could have been the best fuck-up Deadpool has ever caused in his life.

It was six in the afternoon and Peter was dressed in a lab coat in Stark Labs. He could faintly hear Wade explaining the entire plot of  _ Pretty Little Liars _ to some poor confused intern, who looked like she was even younger than Peter, using chemicals to represent the characters and swearing profoundly.

Peter was absently mixing the contents of two vials, holding them over heat and listened to the chemicals sizzling and bubbling around. He was so deep in his thoughts, the outside world felt isolated. He was in his own personal bubble of desperation and numbness. Though he was staring down at his hands, his vision was out of focus. Peter didn’t notice his fingers slipping as he kept pouring acid in the glass for a bit too long.  He realized something was wrong only when he felt a crack and the nausea hit him so hard he felt his knees go weak. 

“Peter!” He heard Wade cry out as his vision turned black.

***

“I don’t think it’s anything serious. He’s been acting pretty strange lately, though. Yes Natasha, I’ll talk to him.” Peter heard Wade talking as he opened his eyes slowly.

“Peter, you’re up!” 

Peter was going to reply to him that yes, he was up and yes, he was fine but before he knew it he was throwing up into a nearby trashcan and Wade was wolding his shoulders.

“Just take him home and make him get some rest.” frowned Natasha with concern and after throwing Peter one more sympathetic glance left the infirmary.

“Hey buddy, just take it easy,” whispered Wade.

“I’m _fine_ , Wilson,” mumbled Peter who was now done emptying the contents of his stomach.

“Sure you are. Now drink this,” he replied and shover a plastic cup of water in Peter’s hand, “and when you’ll be okay to walk I’ll take you home. You heard the boss.”

***

They were approaching Peter’s house, steadily coursing through the streets on Wade’s motorcycle. Peter didn’t want to go home just yet. He couldn’t go home to his room, because he’s end up alone, over-thinking and panicking all night. He was holding onto Wade’s torso to keep himself steady and even though he had a helmet on his head he could feel the fall wind on his body. Orange leaves were floating around the ground and sometimes grazing their shoulders. They were only a block away now. Peter’s arms moved up to grip Wade’s firm shoulders and squeeze them tighter. He was sure that if it wasn’t for the helmet he would have nuzzled his face against Wade’s back.  _ Wait. What?  _

He barely noticed that they missed his house and were headed to the lonely park a few streets away. The motorcycle slowed to a stop and Wade killed the engine. He took off his helmet as he turned to face the younger man. Peter’s eyebrows were scrunched as he looked up at Wade. His brown hair was all tousled as he handed Wade the helmet.

“I would have bought us chimichanga but my favourite place is closed now and let’s be honest, no-one wants to try one of those 24/7 places that you’d probably get a food poisoning from.” He looked down on Peter to see that he was still sitting on the leather seat and sighed.

“You looked like you needed breathing room.” Wade looked around, gesturing vaguely at the park, as if to explain why he took them there.

“Come on,” he urged Peter and gently pulled him up from the seat.

The sun was down already and the only sources of light were the flickering light bulbs scattered all over the place. The two men walked for a while through the not very sizable park. Neither of them really knew what to say, as unbelievable as it sounds, so Peter just silently kicked around stones on the sidewalk. ‘Wade actually noticed something as small as how I held onto him and knew what to do. How the fuck did he know?’ They circled the baseball court twice, still not saying anything. ‘I want to tell him and I want to feel relieved but he won’t believe me. He’ll probably laugh at me for all I know. But then again—’

“You’re overthinking,” Wade stated. He wasn’t asking, he knew that Peter’s thoughts were probably racing around his head like a restless hamster in a running wheel, making up horrible endings to mundane situations. He had a specific frown on his face when he did that.

“Huh?” Peter glanced up like he didn’t understand what Wade just said.

“You do this thing with your face when you overthink.” Wade pointed to his eyebrows with his index finger, “I’m not gonna pressure you into telling me what’s eating you up but I just want to know if it’s something I’ve done? Was it the pancakes? Did I call Luke Skywalker ugly in front of you?”

“No,” Peter chuckled. That did sound like something he’d sulk about, if he was honest. “No,” he repeated and sighed, his shoulders slumping and fell silent again. They approached a bench lightly illuminated by a lamp. Peter circled around it and sat on the backrest, with his feet on the actual seat. Wade followed him and sat down closely next to him.

“You’ll think I’m crazy if i’ll tell you what’s eating me up,” Peter quietly admitted and fiddled with the sleeve of his jacket.

“Oh sweetie, I don’t think I’m in any position to call  _ anyone  _ crazy,” Wade laughed and leaned back a little.

“I’m serious, Wade…” He ran his hand through his hair, messing it up even more than it was before.

“So am I! I’m also offended you’d think so low of me. I’d rather hear you say you killed a man in a skateboarding accident and need therapy to avoid a lifelong trauma than see you faint again, kid.”  

‘It feels so weird hearing Wade talk with this much seriousness in his voice,’ mused Peter to himself.

“I’m sorry,” he apologised quietly, biting the inside of his cheek.

“You already apologized, Parker, it’s fine.” Wade rolled his eyes and nudged him with his elbow slightly.

“Just lay it on me, buddy. I swear to God, I won’t freak out or anything.” he reassured him again.

“I…” Peter wanted to get rid of the wight in his chest but his own tongue wouldn’t let him. “I’m…” his leg started bouncing up and down with nerves, but after a moment it was stopped by a hand cupping his knee and pressing it down slowly. Peter finally turned to look at Wade who was looking at him with more worry than Peter has ever seen on him. It was still a bit strange to see him without his mask and to see his face scarless. He turned his glance away again. ‘Just pretend it’s Deadpool and that you’re telling him a funny story from school like you do when you patrol together.’ Peter told himself.

“I’m not the Peter you think I am,” he started tentatively, feeling like his head was about to explode. He ran his hand through his hair again, this time more erratically. 

“You’re Peter’s secret evil twin,” Wade said with utmost seriousness, “I should have guessed when you put wetted the toothbrush before putting on the paste. Damnit.”

“Fuck off, Wilson,” he chuckled.  _ Wait. When did Wade see Peter use a toothbrush?  _

“I swear I’m not crazy or delusional, but I may have gotten switched with a Peterfromanalternativeuniverse,” Peter mumbled quickly.

“Alternative universe? Are we talking different timelines or like everything is different?” Wade asked with a tone you’d use when you talked to a friend about a plot of a very interesting movie. Peter’s mouth was slightly ajar and he stared at Wade in disbelief. He should have guessed this would be his reaction, because  _ really _ ?

“I mean, alternative reality where you’re a mercenary and where I’m a superhero and we fight bad guys in red spandex together on daily basis. Also you don’t have a cat as far as I know,” Peter added in hope of making it a bit less weird. 

“I don’t have Waffle? What the  _ fuck _ ?” Wade screamed into the evening sky.

“I tell you all of this and you’re most shocked about the cat and not that I sound completely delusional or like everything else that I just said?” Peter ranted, looking up to see Wade grinning at him. He frowned.  _ Why was Wade smiling at him like that.  _

“Yeah I guess. Also according to the voices I’m a badass comic book character so it doesn't’ really surprise me. And I’m glad you’re okay I thought you were gonna tell me something horrible, like that you don’t like Nicki Minaj or that you have a terminal illness.”

“You hear those here to? I thought those were a thing only back home.” Peter didn’t know if he was supposed to be more concerned or relieved that apparently even here, Wade wasn’t totally sane.

“So it’s true? Wait. When did you and my Petey switch? Do I have cool superpowers? Tell me everything!” Wade shook Peter’s shoulder like an excited child.

“What?” Peter squinted at him.

“What do you mean  _ what _ ? You heard me!”

Peter shook his head, trying to process what the fuck was happening. “Actually, it’s been five days—” he said tentatively. 

“You were at Harry’s right? I called you and you sounded so out of it!”

“Yeah, listen though—”

“Wait, let me guess. You and I aren’t besties in your place. Poor Peter what’s he gonna do? Do you know how to switch back? How does it work? Is anyone else a superhero? Holy fucking Jesus on a stick this is so exciting!” Wade was practically bouncing up and down.

“ _ Wade _ !” half-shouted Peter, trying to calm Wade down. “Listen to me. First of all, shouldn’t you be taking something if you hear stuff?”

“I tired but it never worked much,” Wade interrupted him, still talking at the speed of light. “It’s not so bad. My therapist says it’s my brain trying to act as a comic relief for the other part of my brain trying to heal itself from a childhood trauma.”

“And secondly, no I have no clue how to get back and believe me I want to. Also—” Peter continued.

“Now I understand why you were so hostile towards me! But don’t worry we’ll fix that. By the time you get back home you’re gonna miss me. Honestly though, we gotta get my Petey back home asap. Oh my God! Who else is a superhero? Please tell me that Stark has really lame powers!”

“He actually has no powers, just brains and money and he made an iron super-suit that gives him powers. Clint is an agent with the best aim ever, Natasha is a superspy, Steve Rogers is a supersoilder. Why am I even telling you this? But yes, we have to get me back but i have no clue how and it appears that I’m stuck here and I actually might be going crazy,” Peter ranted.

“Hey. If Stark’s so smart, why not let him worry about it for now? I’m sure they’re all more scientifically equipped to solve this.”

“I can’t. I need to  _ try  _ at least. I have to get back so your Peter won’t hurt himself trying to protect New York City. Or you, luring him with your questionable morals—”

“I’ll have you know I already did that,” Wade stated and winked at him.

“I need get my grades up and finish all of the mission reports, that I do for both of us, by the way,” Peter went on, seemingly ignoring Wade, “and there’s so much that is probably going wrong at this moment.” He was breathing way too fast, frantically looking around, repeatedly combing his hair with his fingers.

“Hey, hey,” Wade soothed him and tried to ground him by putting his arm around the smaller one’s shoulders. “How long did you have your superpowers or whatever for?”

“Me? Oh, I don’t know, like two years? But it feels like forever.” Peter shot him a short glance.

“Two years, see, I’m no mathematician but I’m pretty sure that if New York City could survive without your protection until then, it can survive just fine without it now,” he saw Peter opening his mouth to probably name another ten reasons to be worried and started sooner than he could, “And besides, you shouldn’t underestimate the mundane Peter, he’s literally the same person as you. A bit less neurotic I have to admit, but just as smart and courageous as you.” he grinned down.

“I know, I know, I just… want to go home and not worry for a second,” Peter leaned on Wade, defeated.

“Hey, I’ve got an idea.” Wade perked up. “You should take your mind off things and after you tell me everything about my origin story and epic superhero adventures we had together, we’ll go to a museum and I’ll buy us caramel lattes and it’ll be fun! We do this all the time and as you can see, the city is still intact. You need a break,” Wade stated, sounding suspiciously like a mother telling her child that staying up late and not eating vegetables is bad for you.

“Why are you so nice to me? I’ve been a dick and all you did was be nice. It’s usually the other way around.” Peter frowned at him.

“Because you’re my best friend, like it or not. Also I  _ am  _ a dick, and I  _ do  _ lack empathy most of the time but you’re you—”

‘I wonder if Deadpool can actually not be dick for two seconds and feel for another person,’ Peter thought and smiled.

“Come one, sweetums, I thought you had an algebra test tomorrow.” Wade nudged him before he jumped off the bench.

“Fuck algebra,” mumbled Peter.

“Now that’s more you! Also, not to be rude but you know you can’t have sexual intercourse with an abstract concept.”

***

“Stop overthinking. It’ll be fine. I miss Peter too you know,” said Wade as they stood in front of Wade’s house, “but I trust him to take care of himself. And no I don’t think you’re crazy. Otherwise you’d have corrected my evil twin theory since you actually wet your toothbrush after putting on the toothpaste not before. Which, what the hell, freak?” 

Peter laughed and shook his head fondly. “Can’t believe I’m saying this, but thank you, Wade.”

“Holy shit? Did you just say thank you Wade?” 

“I said fuck off, prick.”

“Yeah you did!”

The joking mood died down as they exchanged awkward smiles.

“Goodnight, I guess.” Peter scratched the back of his head and cleared his throat.

Wade rolled his eyes and threw himself at Peter, hugging him close and running a hand through his hair for a split second. It was over so quickly Peter’s body didn’t even have time to react and he was left standing there with a strange tingling in his spine.

“Night, kiddo” Wade said and without another word got on his bike and rode away into the evening streets of Queens.

Maybe this whole thing won’t be so bad after all, thought Peter to himself and grinned stupidly, despite the slight shivering from the fall breeze. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave a comment with anything you liked in the fic so far, i really do appreciate them :) thank you so much for reading this trash :'D I'll try and have the next chapter up as soon as I can.


	7. Waffle 2.0

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's been decades since the last update but hopefully this chapter full of pet names and cats will make it up to y'all.

After a week of living his life with superpowers, Peter Parker came to a conclusion that he needed to find out two things. Firstly, he needed to know whether Deadpool owned a cat and if not, he took it as his personal responsibility to get him one. Quickly. Secondly, he had to see if this Peter realized that he was bisexual yet. This would probably be the harder of the two, since it required some serious detective work  _ and  _ talking to Gwen cautiously enough for her not get suspicious. How was he going to do this, you ask? Well, he had no idea just yet. The first task he gave himself was fairly easy to complete. He just had to find Deadpool’s apartment, annoy him for a while and then if the answer was no, there is no cat, he’ll just drag him, if necessary, to the animal shelter Wade got Waffle from. Easy peasy. He was already starting to get better at swinging through the streets and controlling his powers  _ and  _ he still had Wade’s tracking number, that he kept just in case. You never know.

One of the first things that came to his mind when he tried to progress with the second task, let’s call it  _ Mission: Do I know that I’m bi? _ for now, was checking his browsing history. However, he knew there was only a slim chance of getting any results from that, because if he was at least half as sneaky as he thought he was he’d have watched all porn in incognito tabs. Five minutes into scrolling through a month worth of browsing history, Peter knew it wasn’t bringing any results. The other option was asking Aunt May if she thought he was normal, but that would probably make him look weird and he knew Aunt May most probably thought he wasn’t normal. ‘Think, Parker, think!’ he urged himself. ‘If I knew I was bi but didn’t want anyone to know, what would I do? Probably nothing. Fuck.’ That left him with the obvious option. Talking to Gwen. He knew he had to, but that didn’t stop him from putting it off until tomorrow. Today he was not going to deal with Spider-Man’s/Peter’s/his own sexual identity crisis and he was going to find Waffle.

And that is exactly how Peter found himself on the train at 10 a.m. on Saturday. He knew he could just swing there but he wasn’t used to transporting around the city that way.

Peter hesitated few feet away from the door and stood there eyeing the hallway, considering if he should knock. ‘Is this a good idea? What if he thinks I’m weird?’ He chewed on his bottom lip and knocked loudly a few times. ‘Well, there’s no going back now,’ he thought to himself and sighed. His knock was greeted with silence at first and just as he was about to admit defeat there was a muffled bang followed by curses and Deadpool’s mumbling. Soon enough, the door flew open and revealed Wade in underwear and a loose gray t-shirt. He stood there at first, staring blankly at the teen before his eyes widened in surprise.

“Spidey? What the fuck are you doing here so early? Also since when do you know my address? Oh wait, I texted it to you two months ago. Didn’t expect you to actually show up.”

“Uh, I texted you I was coming over.” He did. “It’s almost eleven, Wade. It’s not that early.” Peter shrugged apologetically. Wade eyed him, looking like he still couldn’t believe Peter was there.

“Are you gonna let me in or what? We have things to do!” Peter grinned and put his hands on his hips.

“You’re weird,” Wade stated, “I haven’t decided yet if it’s a good weird or bad weird,” he said as he stepped aside to let him in.

The place was messy. And not cute tumblr girl whose bedsheets are ruffled type of messy but a real mess. The kitchen combined with living room was mostly covered in stray coffee mugs, dirty clothes and empty take-out boxes. One corner was completely flooded with guns and ammo along with some pieces of Deadpool’s suit. The wall next to it had papers and maps attached to it with various names and notes that Peter didn’t recognize. One of the notes read  _ ‘does Parker like caramel???’  _ with no context whatsoever. Peter glanced around and spotted the bedroom door open. From what he could tell it looked pretty clean in contrast with the rest of the apartment. It wasn’t as bad as it sounded. Really. He’d seen Wade’s flat in far worse states when he was coming off his meds and if it wasn’t for Peter forcing him to shower regularly he’d probably rot.

“I do like caramel,” he clarified, looking around, trying to spot any evidence of cats.

“Huh?” Wade was staring blankly at him.

“Your note,” he explained and gestured towards the wall, looking down at his shoes. 

“Oh, that! You know, it’s really hard to get any information out you, or Spider-Man or whatever, because he rarely wants to hang out outside of S.H.I.E.L.D. responsibilities and patrols. Gets real lonely sometimes. Anyway, as much as I love having you here though, what the fuck did you want to do, baby-boy?” Wade started pouring himself a cup of coffee and then leaned against his kitchen counter with his head tilted to the side which made him look like a curious puppy to Peter. 

“Well, I sort of took it as my personal mission, while I’m here, to make life a bit easier for Spider-Man,” Peter declared sheepishly, “And that starts with creating a better relationship between us two, no homo, haha” he almost actually laughed at that because really, Peter? “Also I’m getting you a cat.”

“Wow, you’re  _ so  _ witty. Sounds rich, coming from me. Wait. A cat? What the fuck?”

“Yeah! I admit that it made a lot more sense in my head, but I guarantee you, you’ll love it! But firstly, you need to shower and clean this mess so it won’t pee on everything you love and own.” Peter smiled hopefully.

Wade stared at him for a while, holding his mug.

“I rarely ever say this, but this is a bit weird even for me,” Wade said and with a sigh stepped away from the counter, “I don’t really get why would you want to spend any time with me but whatever, you know.” He put away his mug and walked around Peter towards closed door, which Peter presumed was the bathroom. Before closing the bathroom door Wade turned around and silently stared at Peter for a few seconds with a subtle frown.

“You’re confusing me, Petey. You’re supposed to be annoyed by me no matter what universe you’re from.”

Before Peter could respond, Wade closed the door behind himself. Peter stood there for a moment without moving. ‘Wade’s being Wade,’ he thought to himself and got to work.

While the shower ran in the next room, Peter busied himself with collecting the mugs and plates and putting them into the washing machine. After trying out a few kitchen drawers he found a roll of black garbage bags that suspiciously looked like something you’d use to cover a dead body with, next to a dozen bullets. He shrugged, ripped one off the roll and started collecting the empty boxes and litter in general when Wade walked out of the bathroom wearing jeans and towel hung over his shoulder. 

“You’re such a housewife, sweet-cheeks. Do you want to pick up an outfit for me as well?” Wade said and leaned against the doorframe with a smirk plastered on his face. Clearly, he was himself again and embraced the opportunity to be friendly with Spider-Man.

“Don’t be a dick, Wade. Start picking up your dirty socks because we need to get to the animal shelter before three and not even I have survival instincts bad enough to touch those?”

“You were serious about the cat? Don’t answer that. I’m not even surprised at this point,” Wade said and walked over to his bedroom. A moment later he reemerged, with a clean looking t-shirt on and a laundry basket, definitely way too small to carry all of his dirty laundry, in his hand. He leaned down and picked up the nearest sock from the ground.

“What do you mean? My dirty socks smell like flowers and unicorns.” He frowned accusingly at Peter, who looked at him with raised eyebrow. 

“Is that so?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay. Then go ahead and sniff it,” Peter folded his arms on his chest.

“Bring it, baby.” Wade held up the sock next to his face and sniffed it carefully, which was followed by a very manly scream and a fair share of coughing. “Fucking Jesus fuck on a shitstick. I take it back,” he cried and threw the sock into the basket.

Peter laughed so hard the garbage bag in his hand fell out and Wade was too stunned to see Peter laugh so much he stopped coughing.

***

They sat next to each other on a subway, heading to the animal shelter. Soft light and buildings in a form of blurry mass of grays and browns were flashing through the windows. There were a few passengers in their wagon, but no one close enough to hear them talk. Not that they were talking. The only sound was the rattle of the train against the tracks, muffled metal music some teenage girl was blasting through her headphones in front of them and shuffling of newspapers an old man was reading few rows away.

“This feels weird,” Wade broke the silence as he stared out of the window with his hood pulled over his head.

“What?” asked Peter with a frown and turned his head left to face Wade more.

“This whole thing,” Wade explained and vaguely gestured between them, “Us, just ‘hanging out’ and riding a subway. You coming over on a Saturday morning. Makes me wonder when did my franchise change from a constant blood soaked shitshow to a romantic comedy with a slightly younger Ryan Reynolds in the lead role without me noticing.” He turned away from the window and eyed Peter carefully.

“Well, it’s perfectly ordinary for me. Except maybe not the subway part because you have a motorcycle. It’s pretty cool actually. Also, I have no freaking clue who Ryan Reynolst is.”

“It’s Ryan Reyn _ olds  _ and he’s a god,” Wade gasped, in a mockingly hurt voice.

“Whatever you say, honey.” grinned Peter cheekily.

“Why are you so set on trying to get me a cat and fix everything?” There it is. The mood killer.

“I’m not trying to fix everything.” frowned Peter. “I think it’s good to have a pet to come home to and feed everyday. You’re too busy blowing shit up and going on these surreal missions. A cat is something normal and nice,” Peter finished with his glance fixed on something behind the window. Wade kept looking at him, puzzled as if Peter grew a second head.

“I don’t want to burst your bubble, but I’m probably going to scare all the cats away with my dashing good looks,” mumbled Wade.

Peter’s reaction was a laugh so bitter it almost put the blackest coffee to shame. “Cats don’t care,” he said softly and shook his head followed by a tense silence. They locked eyes briefly, neither of them speaking.

“Man,” Wade started, “Stark is going to be so disappointed to see you spend so much time with someone who’s as bad of an influence as I am.”

“I don’t give a shit,” Peter said with a spark in his eyes.

“Wow. You’ve truly been corrupted.”

Peter did one of those throw-back-your-head kind of laughs. “I have been seduced by your charming personality and joined the dark side,” he said and waggled his eyebrows at Wade.

The train came to a stop with a loud screech of the brakes and they got off. They walked side by side a couple of streets down with light wind ruffling Peter’s hair, slowly approaching the animal shelter. It was a small building with large windows at the front. Orange inviting letters pasted on the glass read _ Millicent’s Animal Shelter.  _ Wade hesitated in front of the entrance door and shoved his hands deeper in the pockets of his hoodie.

“Come on,” urged Peter and nudged Wade’s elbow with the back of his hand before opening the entrance door. They were greeted by a small woman in her 30s who immediately asked them if she could be of any help. Peter tried to be as little awkward as possible in hopes of sparing Wade any additional stress and said that they were looking for a younger cat or a kitten to adopt while Wade stood next to him silently, self-consciously looking around. The woman instructed them to follow her to the back room. One of the things Peter remembers Wade mentioning was how he liked the shelter because they kept the cats in one large playroom during the day with huge cat trees and toys and beds and during night in an isolated room with sections for each of them instead of cages. And indeed as they moved further into the house they entered a large clean room filled with sleeping and playing cats.

“I’ll let you look around,” the worker said with a smile, “Just ask if you’d like to know anything.”

Peter nodded and immediately dragged Wade closer to the nearest cat. It was a ginger tabby that gave them a look that said ‘you either give me food or leave’. 

Wade tentatively crouched and outstretched his hand to pet it. “Come here you little bastard,” he cooed and as he touched its back, the cat hissed and and swatted Wade’s hand with its paw.

“Fair enough,” said Wade and as a response, the cat attacked his fingers and started biting him, its tail thrashing from side to side. A fat brown cat approached them and curiously meowed at Wade who was trying to shake the ginger devil off his hand. “I don’t have food if that’s what you want,” he said. The cat started rubbing itself on Wade’s leg, meowing again, louder. What he couldn’t see was Peter who took a couple of pictures, before he laughed when he saw another two cats approaching Wade.

“What?” Wade raised his eyebrows. Or rather the part of his flesh where his eyebrows would have been. As he crouched there, one of the three cats who seemed to have formed Wade’s fan club put his front legs on his knee and started playing with the string hanging from his hoodie.

The shelter worker who stood by the door, shook her head and declared, “I’ve never seen them so interested in someone. They usually either ignore or bite anyone that tries to touch them. 

“Sort of like you.” Wade turned around and grinned at Peter who was trying to take a picture of Wade. “Hey! Warn a guy!” Wade said but Peter was ignoring him in favour of staring at the other side of the room.

“Baby boy?” Wade called him, putting the cat off his knee. The cat apparently didn’t like that and dug her claws in Wade’s jeans and he had to carefully pry them away.

“That’s…,” whispered Peter, “That’s Waffle,” he finished at a higher frequency.

“Waffle?” Wade shook his head and squinted at Peter who excitedly pointed his finger at a sleeping gray cat in the corner, clutching the camera to his chest.

“That’s her! That’s your cat, Waffle”

“I’m-,” the woman was about to protest but then decided against it.

Wade stood up and walked over to the bed the gray cat was sleeping in, careful not to bump into any others on the way. “Waffle, huh?” Wade mumbled and stroked the cat’s head. She purred softly, turned around and slowly opened her eyes at him. “I think she looks more like Chimichanga than Waffle, in my humble opinion,” he mused as she started licking his fingertips.

“So, is this it?” Peter asked with a smile plastered across his face.

“I think so,” Wade said with as smile, “Yeah.”

***

After paying the adoption fee and purchasing a cat carrier, kitty litter and food they headed out with  Waffle Chimichanga in the carrier, purring contently. Their hands were way too full and Wade decided to call a cab. Both of them piled up in the back with the carrier between them.

“See,” said Peter with a smile while staring out of the window, “I told you cats don’t care. Also what the hell was that? What are you some sort of a cat charmer?”

“Just one of my many skills,” bragged Wade. 

They sat through the ride mostly in comfortable silence. When they got to Wade’s apartment they let Chimichanga out to explore her new home. Wade looked around at his unusually tidy apartment and turned to face Peter.

“Hey. Uh… thanks,” Wade said.

“No problem, hope she doesn’t piss on everything,” shrugged Peter and frowned, “But like, don’t shoot her Wade.”

“I would  _ never _ ,” gasped Wade.

“I mean it.” Peter crossed his arms on his chest. “Or yourself, for that matter.”

“Don’t be a mood killer, baby boy, I was being good today.”

“I’ll check on you later,” said Peter, “Let’s do this again sometime. I mean hang out. Not buy cats. Or buy cats I don’t know,” he babbled on.

“Careful or Stark will disown you for hanging out with me too much,” Wade joked, “Anywho, how about we order pizza, watch  _ Jurassic Park _ and you help me set up the cat toilet thing before you go?”

“Yeah, that sounds good,” Peter admitted and sat at the headrest of Wade’s sofa, “but no pineapple on the pizza, that’s gross and I know you were about to suggest it.”

“Okay, okay. No pineapple, Mr. Tradition,” said Wade.

Peter still couldn’t understand why Spider-Man hated hanging out with Deadpool so much, when Wade was his favourite person to be around. Hopefully, getting to know Wade a bit better would change Spider-Man’s mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't hesitate to leave any reviews or what you liked/what made you smile in the comments as those keep me going. Hopefully the next update will come sooner but you never know with school and life.


	8. Museum and Chill ;)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> we're back at the no superpowers universe and wade and peter are about to have some much deserved fun

Being just Peter Parker was easier than he remembered. The only thing on his mind was what meme was Wade going to send him next and how well he was doing in school. Admittedly, he was still terrified of being stuck there forever, but that feeling of dread was lessening with each day. Now he was busier thinking about the latest text message he received.

_museum and food tmrw?_

Wade seemed determined to keep the promise he gave him to show him how to have fun and relax. ‘Is this really how we usually hang out? This is all completely nuts.’

‘Fuck it, might as well give it a shot,’ he thought to himself as he typed up his reply.

_Sounds good._

***

Wade and Peter ran up the stairs to the Museum of Natural History, laughing as rain poured down around them.

“God’s peeing on us,” Wade screeched when they entered the building, which sent Peter into a fit of giggles.

“Do you think they’ll have a model of a squid? Because if not then I’m going home” declared Wade.

“Not sure about squids but I’m pretty sure they have a whale one.”

“Seaworld’s boring anyway.” shrugged Wade.

“Priorities, Wilson. I came here to see some dinosaurs and ugly taxidermy.” Peter grinned and shoved his hands deeper into the pockets of his jacket.

Two children ran into Wade at full speed while laughing and he almost yelled profanities at them before stopping himself and rolling his eyes, mumbling, “Little devils,” to himself.

“Are we really going to look at dusty bones and shit before looking at funny stuffed animals?” complained Wade.

“Dinosaurs aren’t boring!” Peter said, still grinning.

“Well, I’m _sorry_ dino boy.”

“These bones have been on Earth for longer than your brain can ever even imagine and nature was able to preserve them for so long after they survived a meteor crash, Wade! A meteor! Just look at the size of that thing!” Peter waved his hand at the biggest skeleton in the room, “We’d be totally insignificant next to them. They were so powerful and—”

“And so dead,” interrupted Wade, “Killed by the previously mentioned meteor. Gone. Poof. _Muerto_ ,” he said solemnly.

“Nature and science are amazing,” sighed Peter, seemingly ignoring Wade’s remarks and looked up at the dinosaur’s skull towering above them.

“You’re such a fucking nerd.” Wade shook his head fondly.

“Says the one who works in a lab and studied biochemistry,” Peter said smiling at him.

They walked around the exhibitions at a slow pace. For the first time since that disaster happened Peter completely let go and was in his full nerd mode. For once it was Wade following Peter around and listening to him. He’d sometimes comment or nudge Peter as he excitedly pointed out things around the room and spewed dinosaur trivia.

By the time they reached the end of the exhibition, Peter was beaming and looking around with twinkling eyes.

“I mean I knew you were a huge nerd before, but holy shit that was a lot of dinosaur facts,” Wade said with a chuckle.

"I used to come here a lot with my uncle when I was a kid.” Peter shrugged and suddenly his smile visibly faltered.

“Let’s check out some weird taxidermies, baby boy,” Wade quickly suggested while he studied him carefully and nudged him gently with his elbow before walking towards the map of the museum’s layout nearby.

They wandered around, looking at each exhibit carefully. Wade mostly made fun of the latin names while Peter actually read the labels. After a while, Peter squinted at a particularly ugly anteater and smirked to himself. He tugged at Wade’s sleeve and leaned in closer to him. Trying to ignore his quickened heartbeat, he whispered to him as he pointed at the animal, “That one looks like you,” before bursting out laughing.

Wade’s eyebrows shot up and his mouth spread into a wide smile. “Look at you, Peter Mature and Responsible Parker.”

“Hey!” Peter said between giggles, “I’m very funny, all the time just usually not with you.”

“Well, here you’re the most fun when you’re with me.”

Peter dramatically rolled his eyes and moved to another exhibit, although there was still a faint smile playing at his lips. Against all of his efforts, he was somehow starting to believe that he could really let his relaxed and funny, if not a bit awkward side take over when he was with Wade more than with anyone else.

Wade ran up to him and asked happily, “Tell me a bit about how I am in the other universe. Wow egocentric much, I know.”

Peter looked up at him silently. Half of his face and his glasses were illuminated by the light from the exhibit. “Do you really wanna know? I thought it’d be too freaky or that I’d sound batshit crazy if I told you,” he started hesitantly.

“Nah, I wanna know what kind of shenanigans I get up to,” Wade replied.

“Okay,” Peter began and started walking down the hall in front of them slowly, “Well, first of all, Deadpool’s immortal, or something like that. You have this healing factor which means whenever you get shot, stabbed, blown up, decapitated, or anything really you just heal eventually,” he explained.

“That’s awesome! You’re totally making that up in order to make me feel better and I actually have a lame superpower like X-ray vision or something. You’re not joking? Can I feel it when I get stabbed?”

“Uhm, yeah you do, as far as I know, but I’ve only heard you say something about the pain like once or twice.” Peter shrugged, “You also used to be a mercenary. Which is why no one really likes you much. That’s not the reason I don’t like Deadpool a whole lot though. I wouldn’t mind the constant talking, the crazy or even the past, but you’re so reckless and irresponsible that it drives me mad!” Peter groaned and ran his hand through his brown locks. “Sorry…” he started again, calmer this time, “you also love the word chimichanga for some reason, you own a fuckton of guns and one time you used a Hello Kitty band-aid on your arm when your hand got cut off,” Peter laughed fondly with a hint of disgust.

“Do I like tacos?”

“I don’t think it’s possible for you in any universe to dislike tacos to be honest,” chuckled Peter.

“Touche.” Wade grinned, “We should get tacos after we’re done here.”

“I thought that’s what we were supposed to do today. Hang out as normal people and I wasn’t allowed to mope,” Peter said and smiled. He kept looking at his shoelaces and hunching so much that he looked like he was trying to hide his neck with his shoulders.

“Hey, Petey?” asked Wade carefully with a faint frown.

“Yeah?” responded Peter, afraid he said something wrong while ranting about Deadpool.

“Race me to the Seaworld section,” Wade yelled and started running as soon as he started the sentence and the words ‘Seaworld section’ were only a muffled screaming to Peter so it could have easily been ‘seaweed suction’. He laughed, throwing his head back and started chasing after Wilson.

By the time they reached their final destination, Peter was wheezing because his body was no longer trained and had the fitness level of an average sloth. During their race, they managed to anger a few middle aged ladies and strategically avoid running over a dozen of children. They were both out of breath and laughing hard as they caught up to each other, stopping right under the giant plastic whale.

“Worth it,” declared Wade between breaths, clutching his side.

“You’re such a dickbag,” laughed Peter.

Wade straightened and looked up. “Look! It seems we’ve found the whale!”

***

The museum gift shop sold everything from magnets to stuffed animals and tote bags. Peter was blankly staring at the small dinosaur skeleton models, his eyes hidden by the reflection of his glasses. He was deep in thoughts and jerked back into reality only after Wade called him for the third time.

“Baby boy!”

“Huh?” he turned to face Wade, still slightly dazed.

“Finally,” Wade chuckled, “Let’s get something to eat and get out of here.”

Peter smiled and nodded and let Wade lead him out of the building. Suddenly, Wade handed him a large, light and soft object and Peter stopped in his tracks.

“What?” he looked down and saw that he was holding a plush dinosaur toy he noticed back at the gift store. “What… What is this?”

“I saw you staring longingly at the pile of plushies and you said triceratops was your favourite one,” replied Wade casually. Peter stood there, on the stairs, silently looking at the toy in his hands.

“I… Thank you,” Peter said and smiled at Wade who was studying him with a concerned look.

“You hate it,” he declared.

“No!” Peter yelped and pressed the toy protectively against his chest, “No… I love it. I’m just surprised, that’s all,” laughed Peter breathlessly.

“It’s a triceratops plushie, Petey. It’s not that deep.” grinned Wade.

“It’s amazing though. Thank you.” he grinned back and felt this strange fuzzy feeling spread in his stomach.

***

Pigeons of Central Park were fighting for a piece of fallen lettuce from Wade’s taco. The afternoon breeze was rustling Peter’s hair, that honestly needed a trim. They chatted between bites of food. Wade was retelling another one of funny stories from the lab. This one featured Banner accidentally dyeing his hands green for a week. Wade demonstrated everything and used different voices for every person. His impression of Clint was especially convincing. The conversation shifted to Peter telling a story from his childhood and then back to Wade who updated Peter on what his friend Weasel was up to.

After they walked through a good part of the park, they settled into a comfortable silence. Wade was tearing up the taco wrapper into small pieces, rolling them into tiny balls and flung them at nearby pigeons, receiving more than a few disapproving glances from old ladies nearby.

“You know, I had fun today,” said Peter as he kicked at small stones near his feet.

“Oh and would you look around?” started Wade, “The city isn’t on fire and everyone is alive,” he laughed.

“Yeah I suppose so.” Peter smiled at the ground.

“You’re allowed to have fun, baby boy.” Wade put his hand around Peter’s shoulders as they walked. The strange flutter in his chest, this gesture left Peter with was no one else’s business but his own. And if Peter put his arm around Wade’s waist after a while it wasn’t anyone’s business either.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys sorry this update took me so long :( i know i keep saying that every time but seriously have very little time these days :( anyways, leave a comment and maybe kudos because those really motivate me to write more :D look forward to a longer chapter with a tiny bit of angst in it

**Author's Note:**

> idk if this is any good so please comment if you read it and actually want to see more :)  
> (i'm not very good at writing and i don't really write much so this is basically me getting angry at the lack of decent spideypool fics)


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